In October 2021, she said her son Kamran Khalid had just finished his daily workout and was preparing for his morning prayer when he was brutally knifed to death.
He was the 26th teenager to die from stab wounds in London that year.
The 18-year-old, from Redbridge, was stabbed more than 30 times.
Police said it was a “ferocious” attack which arose out of “a minor disagreement”.
In early July, as the seven-week trial at Basildon Crown Court neared its end, Samina spoke to the Ilford Recorder about her son’s murder.
“I’m hearing about his last moments of his life, which are so harrowing,” she said.
“I’ve been ill coming here, thinking about what my poor son had to deal with. He was terrified for his life, outnumbered.
“I have to deliberately forget certain details, just so that I can function.”
But she couldn’t not come, she said. She forced herself to attend every day.
“There were so many pieces of the jigsaw that I couldn’t work out,” she said.
“I needed to hear, how could they have done this to my son? And what kind of people are these?
“Kamran was such a lovely, loving boy. This is why I find it so difficult. Because if the defendants had known my son, they would never have done this to him. Never. He couldn’t harm a fly.”
Star
Kamran was a former pupil at Roding Valley High School in Loughton, where he excelled at creative writing.
He also excelled at football.
In 2014, he won an Asian Star award and joined Chelsea FC’s development team.
It was his passion for sport and exercise which led to his death.
After passing his driving test in summer 2021, he got a car and joined a gym in Whitechapel.
Self-conscious – “he wasn’t the biggest of guys,” said Samina – he didn’t like to go when all the weightlifters were there, but also didn’t like to go during busy peak hours.
He fell into a routine of going in the early hours, before morning prayer.
Samina was concerned at first, but told herself that he would be safe: “He wasn’t walking. He was driving.”
That was where Kamran had been on October 28, 2021, she said.
After finishing his workout, his friend told Samina, Kamran performed his ablution – a Muslim cleansing ritual – ready for prayer.
“He was a spiritual character,” Samina said. “I’d like to think that he was close to God.”
The attack
Kamran was murdered in an apparent road rage incident after a row with his killers.
He was stabbed more than 30 times, police said, and found in Harrow Road.
Samina says the row came after Kamran drove one way up a residential street in Ilford in his car, while his killers were coming the other way in a van.
She claims a friend of Kamran in the passenger seat of his car said two men in the van acted aggressively when asked by Kamran to move their van.
They drove off, according to Samira, but met again in Harrow Road where the fatal stabbing took place.
“Barbaric”
“Who kills someone over road rage?” asked Samina, looking pained.
She found out Kamran was injured when his friends started banging on the door at around 4.30am, telling her to come quickly.
She rushed to Harrow Road and found it sealed off by the emergency services. She would later find out Kamran had been pronounced dead around half an hour earlier.
“I didn’t know I was driving towards my son’s murder scene,” she said.
She had been out for dinner with a friend that evening, which she now feels guilty about, even though she knows she has no reason to feel that way.
She remained at the crime scene for hours.
“I was adamant that I wanted to see my son,” she explained. “I was in disbelief that it could be my son.
“Did they honestly need to go to that length? I mean, who are we living with? They are clearly not fit for society. Asking someone to move forward slightly and they stab you 36 times? It’s barbaric.”
Peace-keeper
Abubakar Binabdulaziz, 20, of Eton Road, Ilford, was convicted of Kamran’s murder on Monday, July 10. He is believed to have inflicted most of the knife wounds.
An associate who also stabbed Kamran was convicted of murder too – but he is only 17 and the court has imposed a gagging order, banning his identification.
Abubakar’s older brother Ashraf, 25, also of Eton Road, was convicted of manslaughter.
All three will be sentenced in September – but no amount of jail time will heal Samina’s pain.
“Kamran liked to keep the peace,” she said.
“His friends told me that he was the type of boy that if any of them were holding grudges against each other, he would say, ‘Look, you’ve got to just squash it, life’s too short’.
“They all said if any of his friends were down, he would sit there and talk to them and make them happy.”
It is almost two years now since her son was killed, but the heartache has not faded.
“Every day I don’t think I can carry on,” she said. “He was so jolly and chirpy – such a comical, fun-loving young boy.”
Samina still forgets sometimes that Kamran is gone.
Not long ago, when she was making his favourite food, tuna and sweetcorn, she called out for him, to see if he wanted to help.
“We had Eid a few days ago,” she said. “That was so hard. All the celebrations, there’s always an empty chair. He should be here with us.
“Life will never be the same for me, the whole family and everyone who knew him.”
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