Head chef at Britain’s best restaurant verbally abused me, diner claims | Wales

It was supposed to be the dinner of a lifetime at a restaurant last week anointed Britain’s best. But instead of finishing with a sweet flourish of banana ice-cream and birch syrup, a meal at Ynyshir in Wales ended in a bitter dispute between the star chef and two of his customers.

Donna Southby, who was dining with her husband, Mark, and friends at the two-Michelin-starred restaurant on the edge of Snowdonia national park, claims she was subject to a tirade of “verbal abuse” from the head chef, Gareth Ward, a feted cook from County Durham known for his uncompromising approach and 30-course menus. In a clash that will reignite debate over the culture of elite restaurants, the restaurant has countered, accusing their customer of being “unpleasant and rude” to hardworking staff.

£375-a-head menus at Ynyshir – which describes itself as “ingredient led, flavour driven, fat fuelled, protein obsessed” – consist of a parade of mostly meat and fish courses, from wagyu beef to black cod and caviar. With a DJ “curating” music that cranks up as the night proceeds to a level that one reviewer compared to a “Rotterdam techno dungeon” and atmospheric effects such as birch smoke, dinner takes up to five hours. A couple’s bill can easily pass £1,000 with wine. The restaurant warns: “we do not cater for any dietary requirements and do not offer substitutions for any of the dishes”.

The atmosphere, it has been said, is part stone age, part Blade Runner. It is not, Ynyshir cautions, a good place for first dates.

In 2018, Ward told Restaurant magazine: “People say you should cook for your customers. I say fuck that. You should cook for yourself.” The National Restaurant Awards judges saluted Ynyshir’s “rambunctious atmosphere” and “in your face” food.

The incident boiled up after Southby expressed a series of disappointments as the meal progressed, starting with rejecting as “crap” a pair of hand-forged bone-trimmed tongs the restaurant likes customers to use as cutlery. Then there was confusion over whether a dish of a single lamb’s rib was meant for one or two people, puzzlement that there was only a unisex toilet and then discomfort when the restaurant was filled with birch smoke as part of the “sensory experiences”.

After she stepped outside to wait for the smoke to pass she was told by staff: “Gareth had asked me not to return to the restaurant due to my behaviour.”

While Southby returned to their tipi accommodation, her husband, Mark, asked Ward why his wife had been excluded.

The tone of this exchange is disputed.

The tension only escalated the next morning. Southby claims that when she asked to speak to staff about what had happened, a waiter said she didn’t appear to be enjoying herself: “It was an interactive dining session and I had not been interacting.” She said she apologised for calling the hand-forged tongs “crap”, and alleges Ward erupted at her, saying: “‘Right you fucking twat, why were you such a fucking twat all night?’ He said the way I reacted to the smoke was like his three-year-old.”

She said she interrupted and asked him about his demeanour towards her husband the previous evening. “He shouted that if my husband had a problem with him, he would see him out in the car park in 10 minutes,” she claimed.

It is understood the restaurant does not accept that Gareth Ward called Southby a “twat” or appeared to challenge her husband to a fight.

Ynyshir declined to comment on Southby’s specific allegations but said: “Gareth is not in any way an aggressive person; he’s passionate about what we do. He’s a gentle giant.”

It added that the other members of Southby’s party – who are repeat customers – subsequently emailed “expressing delight” at the food and apologised about “disrespectful behaviour”.

The bust up – which has left both sides upset – is reminiscent of TV shows and films detailing the high-octane and high-stakes world of fine dining, such as The Bear and Boiling Point.

One diner on Tripadvisor, which shows largely positive reviews for the award-winning restaurant, reported that when in 2020 they complained of a burned sticky toffee sauce, Ward “immediately started to verbally abuse us saying, ‘How dare you come into my restaurant telling me my food is burnt?”. The reviewer, who could not be contacted by the Guardian, said he used the F-word and “threatened to lay me out”.

But the Guardian’s reviewer in 2018 said she fell “madly in love” with a dining experience she described as “planet Gareth” and said “long may his delicious pigheadedness continue”. An Orkney scallop bound in wagyu fat under a sliver of duck liver had another reviewer’s table in “raptures”.

“At Ynyshir we take pride in our staff and do not tolerate inappropriate and abusive behaviour and attitudes towards them from anyone whilst they are just doing their job,” the restaurant said in a statement. “Mrs Donna Southby attended our restaurant in April and from arrival and throughout the course of dinner was unpleasant and rude to the chefs and waiters serving her. On temporarily leaving the dining room she was asked not to return as a result of her behaviour.”

Southby denies being rude and unpleasant. She said she had expressed puzzlement at the dining experience which she believed the venue took offence to.